Believe God

How would you spend the last few days with someone you love?  Would you travel?  Would you sit together and talk, or not talk?  Would you cry?  Laugh?  Pray?  Would you reminisce?  Or maybe you’d talk about the future, at least about heaven or how you’d go on after being left behind?  What decisions would need to be made?  Money?  The lack of it?  Insurance?  Where important documents are kept?  Have you made a will?  Where will you be buried?  To cremate or not to cremate?  Which service arrangements and where?  Who will officiate?  

Would you talk about the pain and sorrow?  Would you speak of regrets or any anger held?  Would you spend time reading the Bible together?  Maybe some other favorite writing?  Watch a favorite movie together again?  If you held hands and looked into someone’s eyes in the last days or moments, what would your heart’s cry be?  Would you push through pain to make amends or set things right, let things go, clean things up, or be tender in ways you’ve never been?  Would it be “shoulda, coulda, woulda” or “Thank God we have been and done what we “shoulda, coulda, woulda”?  

Once again our families have been given the precious opportunities to express our hearts’ cries.  As I watch my husband struggle for breath and tire out upon standing or walking a few feet, my heart goes out to him, desiring that he not suffer.  My prayers are filled with petitions for mercy.  My soul longs for the story to change.  Surgery for his condition might change his current circumstance but most likely, according to surgeons, will present new dilemmas.  We face the possibilities reluctantly.  Yet morning melts into afternoon, afternoon fades to night, and dawn comes once more.  Another day passes and pulls us closer to destiny, closer to eternity.

We who believe in Christ now live in eternity with Him.  The moment we believed, our spirits became one with His and we now live eternally in His presence.  Our only separation between now and heaven is a transition.  That reality affects the answers to all our questions regarding life and death, not only about ourselves but about those we love.  

New questions arise:  Have I lived my life so that my “investments” have been made into the Kingdom of God or into my own or someone else’s kingdom?  Has my love for others opened paths to Christ for them, or have they been stumbling blocks along their ways?  Have my motives and deeds been uplifting and encouraging to another, or have I disregarded others as a means to avoid my own suffering?  

It appears that all of us live in our own kingdoms to one extent or another, in one time or way or another.  Such is the battle with the natural spirit within us, always self-centered yet yearning for God.  For many years I was a stumbling block in my husband’s path, a discouragement, a source of bitterness and anger.  Adding insult to injury, I blamed him for much of my behavior.  But God’s desire was that my heart be changed, that my mind be renewed, and that my life reflect the mercy and love He showed me.  He began to convict me.  He began to direct me to love my husband with mercy and grace, the way He loved me.  My husband contributed also to our difficult path, but as we both surrendered the reigns to Christ and my husband began to allow Christ to love him, we began to heal.

Now twenty-six years have passed and we rejoice in surrender: the giving back to God what was rightfully His in the first place.  For in surrender we find that ultimate freedom:  If He is for me, who can be against me?  I am free to love in adversity and strife, free to choose to keep quiet or to speak when God directs my words, and free to celebrate the victories.  No longer am I enslaved to the past or the present, or even the future.  I am truly and eternally free.  And so is my husband.

If you are struggling in relationships, what is God saying to you?  If your heart is broken, surrender it.  If your deepest longings are for peace and love to rule your life, then believe God.  Discover the ways He has set out for you in His Word.  Pick it up and begin reading, perhaps the book of John.  Read, or reread, the accounts of Jesus’ behavior and His instructions in the other three gospels, Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  Before you read, pray.  Ask God to speak to your heart from His Word and to guide you, heal you, heal your relationships, in whatever way necessary.  He is faithful.  Believe God.

Hospitals… nice places to visit but no one would want to live in them.  We’ve been at the hospital 10 days now.  Strangely a thought crosses my mind: when all else fails, read the directions.

 I stood for a time this morning in front of a window overlooking rooftops of adjoining sections of the hospital where my husband is now living, at least for now.  It occurs to me that this is yet another place, both real and proverbial, that we never thought we’d be.  

As I looked across the satellite dishes, fans, and other gadgets attached to the flat, graveled roofs, I noted the crosses erected on most of the upright structures.  The reminder of Christ’s presence in the middle of our suffering was soothing.  Then the concerns of the moment returned and I was in the present again, still looking at the crosses.

What constitutes “enough faith” for healing?  Some say if we have enough faith, especially sufficient faith to “receive our healing” then we will certainly be healed.  The insinuation is that if our bodies are not healed after we pray, that we must not have enough faith.  

In Chapter one of Job, we read about a conversation to which Job was not privy.  God and Satan discussed Job.  Perhaps more importantly, God pointed Job out to Satan and literally offered Job up to him.  Once we read through the entire book of Job, we realize that God offered Job to Satan in order that He could give Satan permission to cause Job great destruction and suffering.  God only denied Satan the power to kill Job.  Why did God do this?  ”Poor Job,” we might say, and “Why did God intend that Job suffer?”

Then we learn that God’s intent all along was not that Job suffer needlessly but that God would be shown to be the faithful and sovereign God of those who love Him.  God gave Job the faith Job needed to bear the suffering, not for or against Job, but for God.  Consider this:  how many souls has Job’s story (specifically his suffering–provoked by God) encouraged and strengthen, for God?  Is Job’s story not encouraging you, now?

When all else fails, read the directions.  For the believer, the directions are written in the Bible.  Somewhere in the Scriptures, inspired by the Holy Spirit yet written by man, are the directions for the believers’ life.  So in times of failure, whether in our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and yes–even our faith, we turn to the Directions.  God’s direction in these circumstances are to offer them back to Him so that He may build our and others’ faith, encourage a brother or sister, allow others to truly love and serve us, and praise Him for the circumstance that brings these opportunities.  He is faithful.  Believe God.  And Lord, help our unbelief.

Hello everyone.  I am pleased write my first blog post today, August, 9, 2008.  I would like to thank J.D. (Dave) Pendry, a great friend, who has created the blog and offered it to me to use.  Thanks, Dave!  Please visit his site at his link on the menu on this page.

As I begin writing today, I bring first the latest news of my husband’s health.  Chuck was diagnosed with severe emphysema about 12 years ago and was diagnosed with esophageal and stomach cancer a year ago in August 2007.  I’ve been sending out updates on his health via email and I hope to convert those writings to this blog.  

This past week, without question, was the most difficult week of Chuck’s life, and therefore the hardest week I’ve ever had, too.  Last Tuesday morning Chuck woke up with severe pain in his upper left chest area, a head full of congestion that was causing his nose to pour and was unable to breathe without the assistance of his Bipaps unit, which is a pump with oxygen attached to a mask that keeps him breathing at night.  This unit was prescribed several years ago when he was diagnosed with severe apnea.

When Chuck tried to take the mask off, he was unable to breathe without it, but he was struggling to clear his head of the drainage at the same time.  For quite some time that morning, he thought he was going to die.  We spent that day and the following day caring for him and praying.  

Hospice came on Wednesday and the nurse and social worker spent most of the day with Chuck.  The nurse assessed his condition and obtained some medications from the doctor and the social worker spent some profitable time with us going over where we are with Chuck’s health and where we’re headed.  We talked about many end-of-life issues and also about serious decisions and planning concerning the suffering of suffocation.  

They delivered a hospital bed that day to offer Chuck the ability to incline while trying to sleep because his chest hurt horribly when he tried to lie flat and he had slept in a recliner the night before.  What a strange sight in our living room!  I would walk through the living room and wonder how that thing got there.  Chuck was unable Tuesday and most of Wednesday to walk much farther than from one room to the next and most of the time was barely able to just sit and breathe.  He struggled so very badly.

It was not an event we anticipated we’d have to face at this time.  It came with no notice and it brought Chuck to do and say some things he needed to do and say.  He emailed his sons and said some things he wanted to say.  He tracked down and called an old friend from his past and apologized for something that happened years ago.  He spoke with me about details we hadn’t faced yet.  He contacted his daughter and siblings.  He had begun to prepare himself and others for his death.

But God had other plans.  We don’t know why his breathing took such a drastic turn nor why his chest hurt so badly.  Over the next two days his breathing eased and so did the pain.  On Friday he was scheduled for a chemo treatment but was unable to leave the house.  The chemo nurse scheduled him to see the oncologist on Tuesday of this week to determine whether he should continue with the chemo, take a break from it, or stop it altogether.  

By the time Tuesday came along, his breathing was much improved.  He and the doctor agreed that he should try another round of chemo and then take about 10 days off, then resume his previous schedule of another 3 weekly treatments.  He received the treatment Tuesday and that afternoon was breathing much better.  Wednesday and Thursday have also been good breathing days for him.  We remembered that when he took chemo initially last fall that each treatment did seem to ease his breathing.  

So for whatever reason, Chuck is doing much better than last week and we are so thankful!

Chuck’s oldest son, Ryan, came for the weekend and spent time with his dad which also lifted his spirits.  They enjoyed time together, talking, laughing and just being together.  What a blessing.  His youngest son, Chad, plans to come this week and his 2 sisters are planning a weekend trip August 15th.  So we will be blessed yet again with the company of loved ones.  

Please accept our thanks for prayers, cards, emails, visits, and words of encouragement and hope.  A special thanks goes out to those who have served us in so many ways and continue to do so.  We also appreciate all of you who want to serve but for many reasons cannot right now.  We are in that place with others as well sometimes.  

God did give me an opportunity to speak to others about His faithfulness, His love, and His mercy last Saturday.  I visited with a great group of women who tutor students in a Christian home school program.  They were such a blessing to me and I’m very grateful for the opportunity to minister to them.  Please pray for them as they, like many of you, begin to gear up for school to start.

Please also pray for other opportunities I have for speaking engagements and those not yet known.  Pray that God would use our circumstances to show Himself to others as our great God of provision and strength.  Pray that I would be faithful in delivering the Word of God appropriately and effectively, to the glory of God and that I would deliver it with the attitude of Christ.  Please continue to pray for Chuck’s healing and for my strength and joy.

Thank you again.  I continue to pray for you as well.  

Ann Georgi, Believing God; Privileged to Serve Jesus Christ

Much wisdon to follow…